Good Thing You Are Small and I Am Not Afraid of You (The Legend of Kimbo).
I believe that everyone was born for a specific reason; Jonathan Taylor Thomas was born to help me through puberty. Andy Dick was born to annoy everyone. Lincoln was born to get shot in the head. And Kimbo was born to do three things; be black, be scary, and kill people.
I know that most of you have seen at least one of these videos on the internets, but for those of you who haven't, and those that need to be refreshed on their "scary black men who kill people for a living" dose, this is for you.
These are all the known fight videos of Kimbo (AKA Punch/Slice), with Ghost Sandwich commentary.
Fight 1 - Kimbo fights a guy in his boxers and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT DUDE'S EYE!
My roommate showed me this video about a year ago when I was about 16 deep in my Best Chest on a monday morning. As I sat in the front room watching "It Could Happen to You" I heard "FUCK THAT NIGGA! LET'S RUN THIS SHIT!" from down the hallway and I knew I had to watch it. I replayed it at least 90 times, each time focusing on THE PART WHERE THAT DUDE GETS HIS FUCKING EYE PUNCHED OUT. You can even hear the initial crack of Kimbo's fist to scary black man #2's eye socket at the beginning.
Fight 2 - Kimbo fights Future from 8 mile in a boat lot.
Kimbo is such a scary black man that he can just roll up in a H2, get naked, and fight a dude in a boat lot. As simple as that. It is almost as if Future and Kimbo got into an argument at a McDonald's and settled it in the boat lot a block down. Who picks where this guy fights? I know it is illegal, but maybe, just maybe, someone knows a guy who knows a guy who owns a gym.
Fight 3 - Future gets a rematch.
Kimbo accepts Future's rematch but wins again in the exact same way as last time. The only difference is that Kimbo is now Middle-Eastern apparently. But that's the beauty of Kimbo! He is so scary, and so black, that he can simply change his own skin color and build to fight anyone, anywhere, at any time!
Fight 4 - Kimbo vs Gannon.
I am not going to spoil what happens in this fight, but Kimbo loses. Yes, the knee to the face from Gannon was kind of cheap, but Kimbo slamming Gannon's back against a wall and almost breaking him in half was also cheap. As stated earlier, Kimbo is very scary and very black, so he destroys Gannon's face in the process of losing. The video is 10 minutes long, but it's worth every slow fps second it runs. Wait until the end to see how pretty Gannon becomes.
GHOSTSANDWICHES ADVENTURE CLUB GAME: Can you spot the following in the Kimbo vs. Gannon video:
A leather briefcase?
A party hat?
A frightened girl?
A Skinhead?
Blood?
Each item is worth 100 scare dollars! Good Luck Adventurers!
I know that most of you have seen at least one of these videos on the internets, but for those of you who haven't, and those that need to be refreshed on their "scary black men who kill people for a living" dose, this is for you.
These are all the known fight videos of Kimbo (AKA Punch/Slice), with Ghost Sandwich commentary.
Fight 1 - Kimbo fights a guy in his boxers and OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT DUDE'S EYE!
My roommate showed me this video about a year ago when I was about 16 deep in my Best Chest on a monday morning. As I sat in the front room watching "It Could Happen to You" I heard "FUCK THAT NIGGA! LET'S RUN THIS SHIT!" from down the hallway and I knew I had to watch it. I replayed it at least 90 times, each time focusing on THE PART WHERE THAT DUDE GETS HIS FUCKING EYE PUNCHED OUT. You can even hear the initial crack of Kimbo's fist to scary black man #2's eye socket at the beginning.
Fight 2 - Kimbo fights Future from 8 mile in a boat lot.
Kimbo is such a scary black man that he can just roll up in a H2, get naked, and fight a dude in a boat lot. As simple as that. It is almost as if Future and Kimbo got into an argument at a McDonald's and settled it in the boat lot a block down. Who picks where this guy fights? I know it is illegal, but maybe, just maybe, someone knows a guy who knows a guy who owns a gym.
Fight 3 - Future gets a rematch.
Kimbo accepts Future's rematch but wins again in the exact same way as last time. The only difference is that Kimbo is now Middle-Eastern apparently. But that's the beauty of Kimbo! He is so scary, and so black, that he can simply change his own skin color and build to fight anyone, anywhere, at any time!
Fight 4 - Kimbo vs Gannon.
I am not going to spoil what happens in this fight, but Kimbo loses. Yes, the knee to the face from Gannon was kind of cheap, but Kimbo slamming Gannon's back against a wall and almost breaking him in half was also cheap. As stated earlier, Kimbo is very scary and very black, so he destroys Gannon's face in the process of losing. The video is 10 minutes long, but it's worth every slow fps second it runs. Wait until the end to see how pretty Gannon becomes.
GHOSTSANDWICHES ADVENTURE CLUB GAME: Can you spot the following in the Kimbo vs. Gannon video:
A leather briefcase?
A party hat?
A frightened girl?
A Skinhead?
Blood?
Each item is worth 100 scare dollars! Good Luck Adventurers!
posted by Pat at Wednesday, April 05, 2006
5 Comments:
dude, that just made my night!
i never thought i would see the day that kimbo loses a fight... now that i have i have shed a tear and i am afraid for i know that the apocalyspe is near
sincerly-
kent brown
Kimbo is a personal friend of mine, as well as is whole crew you see in the fights. Yes he is big, black and scary but you will never meet a nicer person than him. He is a true mans man and can gt down like a motherfucker. I enjoyed your site and hope you put future kimbo fights up. When I was visiting my boys in florida I got the pleaseur eof seeing Kimbo fight in person and I can tell you that he is not a guy to mess with, peace and respect.
dam thats fucked up that kimbo got beat up that bAD ON TV
Alright Kimbo is bullshit that goofy white boy kicked his ass he had nothing for him and its not the ones looking for a fight that are bad asses it is the ones that sit back and wait for the fight to come to them that black piece of shit couldnt handle someone that is known for fighting but all these chumps in the ghetto that think they can fight he wins he better stay in the ghetto
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